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When i was in high school, i loved playing around with copy machines. I loved that they were so big. They were like refridgerators. I remember that my friends and i would make funny copies of our faces and stuff when we were bored. My dad had a home office and the small room was made smaller because of that big copy machine. He also had a huge fax machine. I look at my home office now and think how about how much technology has changed in the past ten years. My office doesn’t have a copy machine and it doesn’t even have a fax machine. I have a printer and that pretty much takes care of all of my copy and faxing needs. I fax things by using my computer and internet connection. I can scan or use email to fax. Take care of your fax solutions by doing online faxing.

More and more girls are getting breast implants! God bless them. There is a reason why because those implants can get the girls whatever they want! I once went to a Angels baseball game and saw the right fielder catch the last out and walk over and hand it to a girl with huge breasts in the front row (I wonder how she got those seats in the first place). The sad part of it was that there were 5 to 6 kids around the woman begging for the ball! But the guy walks over and hands it to the girl who wasn’t even asking for it.
Girls know how powerful those implants are, why else do they show them off by showing way too much cleavage! Girls want guys to look and get upset when they do look (but secretly they LOVE it).
Tests show that girls with implants end up dieing 5-10 years faster than normal girls. That must make woman feel better unless you have implants, but who we kidding those of you with implants wouldn’t be reading this lonely blog at home, you are probably getting free drinks from guys…..whores! Enjoy those free drinks! I’m buying!

I went to the supermarket recently and saw Captain Crunch Berries my favorite cereal of all time. But right next to it was a Captain Crunch with JUST Berries!! I couldn’t believe it! This is such bullshit!@ I remember when I was young I had to eat all the sugar diamonds so I could have a feast of berries at the end. Which ended up being like 8 pieces. The ratio of berries to sugar diamonds is not right. But now the new generation of kids will have it sooo easy! They don’t have to work like I did….that sucks!

Children these days have it so much better even with video games! Gears of War, Halo, Call of Duty. All we had was Mario Bros. Explain that game to a child now and they will look at you like you are insane. Two plumbers try to rescue a princess who has been kidnapped by a ………..giant turtle! They have to break bricks with their……heads……eat giant mushrooms to get bigger or eat a flower to spit fire. By the way does anyone know what the small brown crawling things are in Mario Bros? There is a green turtle you can step on leaving just the shell but there is this small brown thing that you can step on and they disappear….they look like raccoons…..

What has happened to game shows? I remember a time when game shows were actually shows that games were played. Now it is just pure stupidity. What the hell is Deal and No Deal? It is a show about a guy picking briefcases! “Is it in that one? no? How about that one?…..is there any money in there? No? how about that? the one over there? how about the middle one? is there any money in there? How about the one on the left?” That goes on for a full HOUR!

The Price is Right! Now that is the ultimate game show. Have you guys noticed that when the four contestant bid on the first prize someone ends up bidding a dollar more than the highest bid?? That happens all the time and the person that got outbid by one dollar seems to have a smile on his face like “aww you got me there hahahah” Why is he smiling??? I would be sooo pissed! I would like to see someone just lose it and strangle the guy.
When they win you know what they want to see behind the curtain……a car of course! But wouldn’t it be funny if The Prise is Right gave out a prize that no one wanted? Like “Well Bob it is a brand new…..Gorilla!!” “Straight out of South America now residing in Canada this wild Gorilla will lighten up any home.” The guys would be like……what? A gorilla? I can’t keep a gorilla in my house I have children….is that real? Oh my god!

Boy I don’t feel well at all today! Whenever you guys get sick do you try to think how you got sick? So you try to remember if there was any point where you could of got this virus? Well on Saturday I went to my friends house and he had a dog that kept licking me……Sunday I ate at this new sushi restaurant for Father’s Day……Monday I had sex with a dirty whore…….I think I got it from the whore…..just a guess. She actually works Saturday to Monday…..I should have banged her Saturday. Yup has to be the whore….I have to wash the whoreness off me…I feel sticky!

I am thinking about getting a kitten! But my friends keep telling me to get it fixed! She is so passionate about that. Why? Because they will have sex with other cats and make MORE cats. What are we going to do with all these cats?????? They are not going to have homes…where are they going to live??? I am just thinking why not just let them be free! They are animals, they have claws and teeth, they can survive WITHOUT humans! I hate how America keeps trying to control populations of animals. Every time there is a deer overpopulations they have guy come on T.V. saying “the deer population is getting out of control everyone get your guns and shoot them in the face!” What are the deers doing that is so bad?? Eating too much grass? Just nimbling away…little by little….just nimbling….The animals that are doing the most damage to our environment is US! But no one is going to control OUR population. We can breed as much as we want to. It is a scientific fact that after your 3rd average kid you just don’t have the DNA to made anyone special! Have you ever noticed the guy that takes FOREVER when he is at the bank! The line is a mile long and this guy is just taking his sweet time. We need to stop making that guy!!! You know what I am talking about! If you don’t YOUR THAT GUY!!!

A topic about suicide came up during a dinner I had. How would you kill yourself? Would you want people to know you killed yourself? If I ever did kill myself I would want to go out with a real bang but with a splash of citizen kane. First I would get up and top of a tall building and wait for all the media members to arrive and right before I jumped I would just say something really random! So picture this I would be on top of a 10 story building I would stand up and yell “PUBES!” and fall to my death. People watching on the news and people there would be like “oh my gosh! That guy killed himself!…….wait….did he just say pubes??” Why did he say that? Pubes? What does he mean by that??? They would bring psychologists in trying to analyze the suicide…that would be sooo funny, I would be laughing so hard in the afterlife! SWEET!!!!

Has anyone been to a farmer’s market?? What a horrible place that is! First of all they close off the blocks and God forbid you are driving and don’t realize that Farmer’s Market has come to town you are SOOO screwed! 6 detours and you are back on the freeway!

You would think that they would only be selling FOOD! But no, they are selling junk but pricing it really high to fool people. If they were expensive shit they would be in a store! They have art made out of broken glass…..BROKEN GLASS…..$150. Jewelry made out of buttons and what looks to be shark teeth…..BUTTONS….SHARK TEETH……$40!! Are you kidding me?? No guy would go to this hell hole but they go because why???? Girls LOVE it!! But guys know the real truth about Farmer’s Market…..they suck and they will take all Saturday! There are soo many strange foods they sell there too! One tent had nothing but Apple pies…rows and rows of APPLE PIE! It is 90 degrees outside and this lady is selling pies. As I walked passed that tent I thought to myself…..what if for no apparent reason I start punching in the apple pies one by one…..just BANG BANG BANG…ram my fist into the pies…how many would I be able to destroy before anyone did anything about it? 5? 10? 15 pies?? Thinking back on it I could have probably gotten the whole table because even if someone saw me doing that it would take them at least 10 seconds to process what was happening in their minds. Besides theres no security at a Farmer’s Market, the lady would have probably been freaked out! “Why are you doing this??? Do apple pies make you angry inside?” Screw Farmer’s Market!

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